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All reviews - Movies (35) - TV Shows (2) - DVDs (1) - Books (1)

Commando (1985) review

Posted : 3 years, 10 months ago on 25 September 2015 12:53 (A review of Commando (1985))

"I eat green berets for breakfast!" COMMANDO -final intense confrontation, over the top alpha male energy of the final showdown. Pure awesomeness! final intense confrontation with Bennett, discarding the guns and rocket launchers, instead a fight of strength and blades. Huge biceps, explosions and guns really bloody there is a seen where a arm gets chopped off but other than that there is throat slitting parts . Shootings. Necks slit. Chests stabbed. Arms hacked off. Explosions. Explosions. Explosions. Death testosterone dripping action fest!!
The first shot of Arnie features close-ups of his sweaty biceps as a pompous sax solo plays with steel drums. And then we meet Bennett. Australian accent, creepy mustacle, crew cut, a chain mail vest over a black t-shirt, a tight belt, black leather pants, tucked into tall black boots. He stands over Arnold caressing a giant knife as he looks over him.
Judging by the look on his face when Matrix tells him to "put the knife in me" at the end, challenging Bennet to a knife fight causes him to orgasm violently. it’s like sex with an orgasm at the end of it!

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Hearts and Armour review

Posted : 3 years, 10 months ago on 24 September 2015 02:50 (A review of Hearts and Armour)

Orlando and the Four Alpha Male Knights: Rinaldo (Leigh McCloskey, of Inferno and Cameron’s Closet), who has a giant metal tulip atop his helmet; Selvaggio (Al Cliver, from House of Clocks and The Alcove), who has sheep’s horns on the sides of his; Aquilante (Lucien Bruchon, from Domino and Warrior of the Wasteland), whose helmet terminates in a sort of false cape that falls over his shoulders in the back like a giant steel mullet; and the hot-headed Ganelon (Giovanni Visentin, of The Killer Is Still Among Us and Flight from Paradise), who looks like somebody jammed a broadsword right down the middle of his his skull whenever he has his helmet on. The Moor King calls in a trio of mercenaries who hunt down and kill all the brave knights one at a time in the most brutal ways.
The fights in this movie are some of the best I've seen. Blood, bodies, and dismemberments abound, and a variety of unique weapons are presented in the final confrontation between the four best warriors of each side. I've especially always sort of wanted to see two men in full medieval armor have a straight fistfight with each other, and thanks to this movie I finally have.So the Moor king has brought in three mercenaries (one a samurai), who butcher one of the knights and create havoc-

U must watch the Temple Fight whre Rinaldo is attacked by 3 moor knights. On foot and full armour he brace 4 death. Brave, virile, manly. Takin the spear thru his chest, another thru his thigh, falls on one knee and takes another one. Dripping blood he fall on his back and the Samuri Knight come and raise the scimitar blade and IIIIAA! just stick the brave knight 2 the ground. Ucan only watch his convulsions, like a brutal violent death orgasm...

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